I had a girlfriend that I dated for a short time while we were in high school. I broke up with her because I wanted to be free my senior year. We had only been dating for less than a month, anyway. After I graduated, my best friend and I went to watch a football game at the high school. While there, I bumped into this girl. She was with another guy. Our eyes connected, and we talked as if we were the only two people there. I asked her to sit with us but she declined, stating she was with her date and couldn’t. I asked what she was doing that evening. She said she didn’t have any plans. So, we made plans to meet that night, and we did. We went over to a friend’s house and hung out for a while. Then we went upstairs to be alone. We both lost our virginity that night and fell deeply in love. Our relationship was fantastic until she became a senior and grew from cute to gorgeous. I was in college, and we both worked at a restaurant part-time together. There were mostly kids our age that worked there, and there was always a lot of flirting going on. Being a young, horny male, I submitted to my weakness and cheated on my girlfriend. That was an act that I regret to this day. Over time our relationship fell apart. We were both young, and we didn’t know how to communicate with each other and talk about our problems. We eventually broke up, but we thought we would get back together after a break, or at least I thought we would. I drifted for years, dating a few girls, but I constantly had my first love on my mind. Our paths crossed a few times over the years, and we’d talk from time to time. However, she couldn’t get over the pain that I had caused her. A few years later, I finally found someone that made me happy, and who helped me to forget about my first love. I was thinking of marriage, but couldn’t propose to my new girlfriend until I had asked my first love first. I stopped over at her house, and we sat on her parent’s front steps as I tried to find the right words to finally express what I wanted to say. I told her that I was still in love with her, and that I was thinking about marriage. I asked my first love to marry me. She thought I was kidding at first, until she saw the expression on my face. She then told me that she has been dating a guy for four years. She also said that he had just asked her to marry him, and that she said yes. I was crushed. About a year later, I proceeded to marry my girlfriend, and I was happy for the first couple of years. That is, until the dreams came and started to haunt me. I would dream about my first love over and over again for years. I had lost touch with her, and often wondered how she was and what she was up to. Over twenty years had passed, and this past October I was looking through a list of my classmates a website and came across my first love’s name. I sent her an email thinking that she would never respond. A few days later, while at work, I received an email from her. We exchanged emails for a while and then started instant messaging each other. This grew into an everyday thing. We eventually met at her work parking lot since we both worked in the same town. One visit grew into two visits, then eventually grew into five more, and so on. She had odd hours at work and would work in the evenings one night a week. On one particular evening, I asked to see her since it was her birthday. She replied yes. We sat and talked in my car for a while, and then I asked if I could give her a birthday kiss. She said yes, and we kissed. After we kissed, her eyes watered up. I later asked her why she looked as if she was about to cry. Her answer was that she had never been kissed like that and had feelings for me again. Her love for me had returned, but she was married with three young children. We both realized that when we dated, we were very young. We both made terrible mistakes, yet we still loved each other. However, she could never leave her husband due to her kids. If there were no children involved, things could be easier or even different. But her children come first, and they deserve a perfect life. I can see her point since I was a victim of a broken family. My parents divorced when I was four years old, so I know what they would go through. We tried to stop communicating through email and instant messages, but we always give in to our weaknesses. We still keep in touch, and she made a promise to me that if she is ever single again, she will contact me and we will continue from where we left off. Regarding me and my marriage, I think you know my first love will be my last love. -Dale, 40

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